Monday, July 20, 2009

Fasting not a quick fix to weight problem

I sometimes multitask. The business definition of this term means to juggle multiple projects/ tasks at the same time. It’s a necessity at work to survive, but I’ve learned I really shouldn’t do it at home.

Case in point: Jilda and I were sitting on the couch reading last week. I was reading “The Missing,” a book by Tim Gautreaux. Jilda was reading an article entitled “Lose Weight, Have More Energy & Be Happier in 10 Days.”

I was engrossed by my book, but who wouldn’t be interested in losing weight, having more energy and being happier?

So, I utilized my multitasking skills to catch a great deal of what she was saying.

Believe me, I could stand to drop a few pounds. In fact, the last photo I saw of myself made me appear as if I were expecting.

She seemed to be saying something about “fasting.” My mind conjured up an image of losing weight while driving at a high rate of speed. I thought to myself, “That’s a diet I can embrace.”

Obviously, if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. This plan had nothing to do with cars at all. In fact, it has nothing to do with food. You have to go a day without eating at all.

The other pieces of the conversation I caught explained that every two hours you drink a concoction of water with lemon juice, maple syrup and a dash of cayenne pepper.

“This will boost your metabolism, cleanse your system, and make you feel more energetic,” Jilda read.

“We will also lose weight.” Someone in California lost eight pounds in 48 hours, according to the article.

“That’s nice, why don’t we try it,” I said absently.

That afternoon Jilda mixed up the elixir and we were set to try it the following day.

The fast hit the first snag around 7 a.m. when I got up on Saturday morning to make a pot of coffee.

Jilda called out from the bedroom “We can’t have coffee.”

That threw up an immediate red flag. “WHAT?” “Coffee is not food,” I said. “If we’re going to do this, we can’t drink anything but the lemon juice,” Jilda said. I headed to the office in a huff, to check my e-mail.

The first e-mail in my list was from Whole Foods and it was recipes for some of the best-looking food I have ever seen. I quickly deleted the e-mail.

I think you’re supposed to take it easy when you fast and do things that don’t require a great deal of energy, but we both had a lot to do. So as the day progressed, not only were we tired, but starving too.

The taste of the lemon water with maple syrup tasted pretty good but the cayenne pepper sneaked up on me. It would have gone quite well with a big homemade cheeseburger.

By 10 a.m. my guts started growling like a bear with a toothache and by noon, I was thinking about eating the Styrofoam ice cooler.

I would have given a week’s pay for a stash of those C-rations we used to eat when I was in the Army.

By 5 p.m. I was ill tempered and snippy. I was afraid Jilda would call me a wuss for bailing out, but it seems she was struggling too.

So she rattled some pots and pans and cooked up a pot of purple-hull peas and a pone of cornbread. We washed it down with ice-cold sweet tea. I can’t recall ever having a better meal.

The fast was not a total wash because we both lost a couple pounds. The biggest benefit from the experiment was what I learned — never multitask at home.

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