Monday, February 20, 2012

Mama's Gone

I have so much to say tonight, but the words won't come. In the past, even under duress, with impending deadlines, and being wound up tighter than a fiddle string I've been able to write flowing sentences that describe what I've done, what I've seen or what I feel. But tonight I'm just numb.
We all knew this day would come and no matter how hard I've tried to convince myself that I was ready, when my mama drew her last breath, I realized that I was not.
In the coming days when my mind has a chance to assimilate, I will write something a little more cohesive, but tonight I'm going to try to rest.
Thanks to you all for your kind words through this.

32 comments:

  1. I am so very sorry for the loss of your Mom. It leaves a hole in your life but think of the joy her Mom and Dad are feeling at having their daughter with them again. Prayers for you and your family that the Lord will keep His arm tightly around you.

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  2. Oh dear.
    So hard.
    I know that nothing I can say will make it any better. I hope she is at peace and that you will eventually find peace over this.

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  3. Anonymous10:15 PM

    I am so sorry for your loss. Hard times indeed. Thank God you are not alone as you pass through this valley.

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  4. Anonymous10:32 PM

    know we're thinking of you...as my Italian friends so sweetly put it..."a hug"

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  5. I'm so sorry for your loss, Rick. When my mother died, even though we had seen it coming for the two years that she withdrew more an more in mind and body (I said in her eulogy that she left us a little bit at a time), even so, nothing prepared me for that actual loss. Sending thoughts and prayers your way.

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  6. So, so sorry. A mother is a precious thing, and I can see that you love her a lot. Thank goodness for Jilda - she will see you through. Although she is on to her new journey and greeting family on the other side, it is hard to be left here wishing for one more word or hug. I'll keep you in my prayers and hope that you will feel all of our arms around you.

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  7. I am so very sorry for the loss of your Mom. How good it was that the family came to be with her and were able to have time with her. A blessing to be with her. Take the time that is needed to grieve and know that the empty space will in time be filled, but it takes time. Hold those you love and be with others when you can. I was very grateful to the hospice when my Mother in Law was living her last few days. It was a place where family gather and where you knew the pain was controlled. You wrote so lovingly of your Mom and I thank you for that.
    Joy

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  8. My best wishes to you, Rick. My mother had been ill for several years and I thought I would be glad to see her released - but it was still a huge hole in my life.
    Condolences.

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  9. Sending love and prayers of comfort to you and your family Rick. Even though I've never met your 'Mama', in my record book she was one remarkable lady, she raised a loving and kind boy and made sure he remained so as a man.
    Much love~

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  10. I'm sorry for you loss Rick.

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  11. I am so sorry.

    Please take care
    x

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  12. My sincerest condolences on the loss of your mom. Some things just aren't easy, no matter how you prepare.

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  13. Somehow it never seems to matter how much time you get to have them in your life - it's never enough.

    I am so sorry. I hope God cradles you and your family with all the comfort you need right now - and blesses you with strength and courage to help you walk into this new, and very different, presentation of your journey.

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  14. I was trying to think of something to say that would help and of course there are no words. I'm so sorry for your loss and those words seem inadequate but they are so true. I know it will be difficult in the days ahead and I'm keeping prayers going for you and your family.

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  15. There is nothing that can ease the pain of loss - especially the loss of a mother. I am so sorry for your loss.

    For those of us who still have our mothers .... give them a big hug and kiss when you next see them. Remember, they are not with us forever ...

    RetiredKnitter-Elaine

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  16. Anonymous8:12 AM

    Will lift you up in prayer for this sorrow, this level of grief can only be touched by the hands of the healer....as my parents are reaching the end of their chapters of their book, I find myself feeling the sorrow early ... I try not to but as all the ppl that were their age have passed away, I know that soon one or both shall follow suit....how can we prepare? As you we think we have but when it is reality we realize it was but mind game to help the moment of pain ... I'm so sorry for your loss ...

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  17. I'm so sorry for your loss.There's nothing I can say that will take the pain away. Grief is a personal journey. We will be here to read you. Hugs.

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  18. It's never easy Rick, especially when it's a parent. Take all the time you need and know I'm thinking of you both. Sending a million hugs for you and Jilda. I'm so sorry.

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  19. I'm so sorry...thoughts for you from Florida...

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  20. Sorry for your loss.

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  21. I am very sorry, Rick. May God be with you giving you comfort and peace.

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  22. I am truly sorry for your loss, thinking of you!

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  23. Rick I am so sorry! Prayers for you and your family.

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  24. I am so sorry to hear this Sir Rick. Guess nobody is really ready to lose a love one no matter what and how we prepare. God bless her soul!... And my prayers to your family...

    JJRod'z

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  25. Rick, I'm so so sorry for your loss. I wish I knew what to say, but I'll just send you hugs x

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  26. Rick, like everyone else, I'm so sorry for you. I know what it is to lose parents and the hurt that goes with it. Somehow the sweet memories become sweeter and the missing never really goes away. The wonderful heart that was given to you by your mother though will always have many dear reminders on a daily basis. Prayers for you and Jilda that you are able to find peace at this time.

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  27. My condolences.

    Love,
    Janie

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  28. So sorry for your loss. Prayers for you!!

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  29. Rick, so sorry to read about your mother this morning. Please know you are in the prayers of many, including mine.

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  30. I haven't been following for awhile so didn't know. I do remember reading when you go visit your mom. So this is really overwhelming time in your life. My thoughts are with you. I hope you feel some comfort during this time.

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