Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Self Doubt

It sneaks up on you like a cold. You're not sure where it comes from or what triggered it but this little voice in your heads starts to chide "well, that's kind of stupid don't you think? That's been said a million times. A lot of people smarter and better than you have tried to write book."
The thing about it is, that little voice knows just what to say. It knows where you weak points are and it has a knack for cutting to the bone.
Today I was listening to "The Writing Show" which is a a podcast by a woman writer somewhere out west and she interviews authors, publishers, agents, and others associated with writing. The show has great tips but there are many struggling writers out there and they sound so beaten. After listening for a while, my inner voice chimed in "they're right you know. No one wants to read junk you write. Why don't you drink some beer and watch reruns of MASH."
If I could get my hands on that little weasel I'd stomp a hog waller in its butt then stomp it dry. It's a coward and it wants me to be one too.
As I sit here on my porch tapping away at the keys on my laptop, I know that I do this because I love to write. The notes I get from the folks who visit make it worthwhile. I will concede that the more I learn about writing, the more I realize I don't know much but that's what keeps it interesting.
On a side note, I got a note from my friend Dale who is an exceptional writer, who told me he read one of my entries on "seeing". He took my challenge, shot a photo and sent it to me yesterday. I think it is remarkable.
Tonight as the lightning bugs start their show and the night birds are finishing their chores before night falls, I'm not concerned about that little voice in my head.
I have a saying carved on a small piece of wood that sits on my desk which says "whether you think you can, or whether you think you can't, you're right." I feel blessed and there is nothing that little voice can say that will change that.

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