Wednesday, May 03, 2006


Jilda and I celebrate our 32nd anniversary on Cinco de Mayo which is this coming Friday. We always try to do something special - some years are more special than others. I mentioned some time back that we went to Sedona, Arizona for our 30th. It was a special trip that we both enjoyed a great deal. We stayed at Cabin Wren which is a complex of about five rustic cabins a few miles north of Sedona. The cabins had journals with entries by people who stayed there. The journals went back for over ten years and the newly weds on honeymoons, and couples at various stages in their lives and relationships, poured out intimate details for fellow travelers to read. We spent hours reading what others had written.
We both thought a long time before writing our entries because we wanted them to be memorable and maybe even inspirational to those who would follow.
We also soaked up the remarkable beauty of the place.
For our 25th anniversary we went to Ireland. It was a first for both of us. We lived in a trailer for many years and struggled to buy groceries in those days but we kept chipping away, and dreaming of the time when we could travel.
I guess that's what made the time we spent in Ireland so special. On the night of our anniversary, we stayed in the Burren Region in a small hotel overlooking a bay.
We dressed up and had dinner in a small restaurant within walking distance. I had a chicken dish and Jilda ordered broiled crab claws. We told the owner it was our anniversary and he brought wine to our tables and talked for a while. We sat alone for a long time and sipped wine and watched sea birds settle in for the evening. I can close my eyes right now and smell the salt and seaweed.
Life can get crazy but I believe that couples can beat the odds and stay together for a long, long time. We've managed it so here is my advice:
Call in - you can get away with almost anything if you call in.
Pitch in - when the wife works and comes home to cook, the least you can do is clean up the table and put the dishes in the dishwasher.
Learn to listen without trying to fix things. Often when my wife tells me her problems, she's not looking for a solution...she just wants me to listen and to empathize.
Also be willing at times to say I'm sorry when you have an argument, even if you feel like you are not at fault.
Finally celebrate every chance you get. Always remember important dates - never forget a birthday, and anniversary, or any other dates that are important to your mate. Travel every chance you get and take lots of pictures.

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