Monday, February 19, 2007

Road to Recovery

I called my doctor this morning and they said come in around 4 p.m. There were no openings but they said they'd work me in. I was there at 4 and there was a full house. When I was called to the desk to get my insurance info I had to fling my arm up and cough into my sleeve as I had left my tissues in the truck. People started to back away from me as if they feared I would hack up a lung. When I got through with my coughing fit, I actually looked around my feet to verify that indeed the lung actually come out.
Sitting there waiting to be called I could hear all around me sneezing, coughing and all manner of sickly sounds and it occurred to me that I should invent a portable bubble for visits to the doctor's office. You could wag it in and isolate you from all the other sick folks. Of course any kids in the office would immediately come over and look at you as if you were a goldfish.
I was the last patient of the evening and as I sat in the examining room waiting for my turn with the doctor, I kicked myself for not picking up a few feathers from under the bird feeders.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, my company switched health insurance on me and I'm breaking in a new doctor. I smiled to myself as I imagined the doctor coming into the room and I would sneeze through my fist and blow out a few feathers. "I don't have the bird flu, do I doc?" But those guys have spent an inordinate amount of time studying books with unpronounceable words, drinking black coffee, and dealing with whiny people that don't do as well as I when they are sick. There's a better than even chance he might take a dim view of my shenanigans.
I have the greatest respect for those in the medical profession. They work intolerable hours under incredible stress and they get sued at the drop of a hat. In fact, if I were a doctor and some joker came in and tried to play a practical joke on me, I just might beat him senseless with my stethoscope..."Hey that was kind of fun wasn't it," then step outside the room and call out "nurse, clean-up in examining room three."
Well after I saw the doc, it seems I have some kind of viral crud. I got a shot of some kind of miracle stuff and some cough syrup that's guaranteed to help me get a good night's sleep. In fact I took a spoonful a while ago and I'm praying I can finish this before I start drooling on the keyboard.
I kj;kadkfiiuplse fip[eke you havvve a god eve;ning and ill do buttertomorrow

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