Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Thinking About My Dad

We had to run up to Berkeley Bob's Coffee House today to discuss scheduling a performance in the summer. Since we were there, and today is Red Beans & Rice day, it would have been impolite to talk business and run off. We've been accused of many things, but being impolite is not one of them.
I've never really thought I looked that much like my dad because he kept most of his hair until he died, and mine went south years ago. Jilda snapped this photo today while I was eating. There was something in his eyes that found its way into mine.
It occurred to me that I am now the age my dad was when he died. He had gotten sick and withered away the last several months of his life. At the end, he looked very old.
A melancholy mood drifted over me tonight as I looked at this picture. He
wanted to see the world more than anything. He worked as a welder for most of his life. Soon after he retired he fell ill, and never really got to travel.
When I went to visit toward then end, he had a deep sadness in his eyes. I know that part of it was his battle with cancer, but I think a lot of it was a feeling that he'd been cheated.
He worked hard, provided for his family, and did all he could do to make sure we all turned out right. He thought he'd get a chance to see some of the places he'd always dreamed of, but that didn't happen. I think I would have felt cheated too.


  1. No matter what your age, you'll feel cheated. There is so much to see, learn and do but so little time. Great insight, you better get down to the travel agent and book that trip you've always wanted to take. ; )

    1. We have several trips booked this year. I'm looking forward to them.

  2. If wishes. I am at a cross roads in health and it isn't easy. Take every good day and live it as well as possible.

    1. Sorry you're having issues Joy. You give good advice.

  3. My father always wanted to travel as well. Since his death I have made it a point to go...or do...something he had always wanted to do, in memory of him.

  4. I hear you, Rick. My father always wanted to go to Ireland to see the birthplace of his mother. He was a hard working farmer all his life until he got Parkinson's Disease. That robbed him of so much-including his dignity. xo Diana

  5. We seem to forget that we are only given one day at a time to enjoy. Now is the time to enjoy life or it may never come.
    Growing old sure sneaks up on us until one day we look in the mirror and scare ourselves silly by what we see.

    I hope that you will cheer up and count your blessings on this journey called life. Have a good day.


  6. I am sorry that your Dad did not get to see the places and things that he wanted to.
    I hope that you and Jilda are making plans to enjoy life to the fullest.
    Our son travels a lot. My husband gets angry that he is wasting his money, but I tell him to let him see the place she wants to see.

  7. I am sorry to hear that you dad didn't get to travel as he wished... it is hard to not feel cheated when you do everything you can to be a good person.

    I told my oldest to travel and she has, I don't think it is a waste of money to see the world, if that is your desire :)

  8. This post leaves us with a lot to think about...

  9. A reminder of how fragile life is, and of how precious each day is... hugs.

  10. When I was a young woman, I worked in a sales office of a big company. One of the salesmen, (a pretty handsome ol guy)told me people either do things when they are young or when they are older. Some people want kids when they are young thinking they will be still young enough to enjoy later.My grand father was one of them and he died at 65.He worked 24 hours a day preparing for retirement.
    I think you should enjoy life while you are young because even if you can later, other things can get in the way. Family,health, etc...
    It's a slippery slope for women because it is better to have children when you are young but then it's also nicer to explore the world with your children.
    Between doing this with your parents and then doing it with your own kids, life becomes a wonderful experience.

  11. I understand your feelings a bit. I lost my Dad early but he lived such a full life that he even said he wasn't afraid of death but he was afraid of being a burden or being in state of health were he was restricted. He was a very hard worker (tool and dye) but every summer he and Mom packed us 6 kiddos up and we camped all over the US and Canada. He served in WWII and was all over Europe, but when they celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary they were able to go back to Europe and enjoy the sights without Dad being in a Tank! He loved his guitar, poems, family and friends. His happy attitude was what made him special. So that saying that goes something like this: "It doesn't matter how many breaths we take, but how many moments take our breath away" sure fits my Dad. I hope your good memories are a comfort. A couple of my brothers really look more and more like Dad and I love that! Makes him seem a little closer.


Please consider sharing

Email Signup Form

Subscribe to our mailing list

* indicates required