Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Big Fly

I was sitting here working on a mind map for my column this week and contemplating ideas for my blog when a fly as big as a bat buzzed by my ear and landed on my screen. I tried in vain to shoo him off.  He would buzz away for a moment and then he was back as if to say "Hey pop, what time is supper?" 
I went to the pantry and rummaged for the fly swatter.  I gripped it in my hand and swung it a few times to warm up.  Ol' Buddy pinned his ears back because he didn't like the looks of that swatter one bit. I'm guessing he had flashback to when he lived with his first Mama Ruby (my wife's mother).  She kept the pup in line with a swatter just like the one I was waving around.  
I headed back to my office and was faced with a dilemma.  I had a clean shot at the fly, but I was afraid it would leave a greasy spot on my monitor...a spot that would not be much fun cleaning off. 
Plan B. I swiped the swatter menacingly close to the fly.  He got the message and launched off the screen in and made a b-line for my head. I dodged and started flailing at the beast with the swatter.  He must have thought it was a game because he swooped and dodged around the swatter.  I knocked a picture frame off my office desk and almost killed my lamp.  The fly buzzed my ear tauntingly.  
It was then that Buddy scurried under the desk and watched from behind the safety of the wastebasket.
Mr. Fly's luck ran out when he zigged when he should have zagged.  I heard him connect with the plastic of the swatter and the next thing that went through his mind was his rear end, when it hit the window pane.
I don't like killing critters, but flies cannot live inside my house.  It's a hard and fast rule that is not negotiable.  So RIP mister fly. 

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