Friday, February 17, 2012

It Is Our Nature

I've been in a bit of a daze this week with one day bleeding into the other. When someone asks me a question I say well yesterday......or maybe it was the day's hard to say.
One thing I can say is the outpouring of love and kindness has been humbling. 
Jilda sent an email out yesterday......or was it the day a bunch of our friends who live out of town and I got an email from a friend who lost both his parents recently. Both of them, like my mom, were in their late 80s/early 90s. 
He said a friend sent him a quote that seemed to help him with the loss of his mom and dad.
I think it was the Buddha who said (and I'm paraphrasing here)

It is our nature to grow old
It is our nature to grow sick
It is our nature to die

I've thought about these words a great deal these past few days. No matter how badly we want to hold on to those we love for as long as we can; there comes a time when holding on is no longer possible.
So then we must come to grips with how to say goodbye. I think the answer is different for every one.
Our sister-in-law lost her sister this week to cancer. Her sister had grown children who were too busy to spend any time with their dying mother. But now that she's gone, they are struggling with how to say goodbye. I'm guessing the sons are feeling some remorse, but I'll leave them to wrestle with that.
I take comfort in the fact that my sisters and I have tried our best to do right by my mom.  As always, there is always more I/we could have done, but for the most part I think the Olympic Judges would give us a 8.2 or maybe 8.5, but they always take off a little for style or timing when it's not perfect.
I hope you all have a great weekend. I'll keep you updated.


  1. Speaking as a Mother...I'd give you a perfect 10. I kinda think your Mom would too. She raised a son that is just that kinda guy.

    Love will get you through...

  2. I think you've done very well. I pray you have no reason for regrets. You are there when it is most important.


  3. I have to keep telling myself this world is full of life and of death, of joy and sorrow. Somewhere a child is born, somewhere a person dies. Still, it is hard to accept.

    It is wonderful you are there with your mother. How she must appreciate that! May God be with all of you at this time.

  4. I'm so glad your family are there for your wonderful mum. I hope you all enjoy every minute of every day and treasure these times.

    Take care

  5. I think most of do our best - and you can't look back - it'll kill ya. sandie

  6. All you can do is the best you can. Your mom knows you are there for her and that is what matters.

  7. Anonymous12:18 PM

    So very sorry to hear about your Mom...I know you did your best for I learned when Don died I didn't have the power to save him! I had to let him go...will always be letting him go! Take care of yourself!

  8. I think we always feel we could or should have done more, but you have been a good son from what I read here. You will have no reason to feel you were less than a 10. I'll be thinking of your family and keeping the prayers coming.

  9. I am very sorry to hear this news. My prayers for you and your family. Hugs!


    Score: 10

  10. Rick,
    You have no idea how often I have noticed that you "dropped in" to see your Mom at the rest home, in your blogs.

    I knew then that you were a good son. As you mentioned, some people ignore folks while they are still here, and then do not seem to cope very well once they are gone forever.

    But those who do what they can, even when it does not seem like enough, seem to handle saying their goodbyes much better.

    Keeping you and Jilda and your mom in my prayers. ...Marsha

  11. Love and peace to all of you.


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