Monday, December 19, 2016

Christmas Pig ~ my column from Sunday's paper

What's pink with jingle bells around its neck and goes hippity-hop through the mud and snow? CHRISTMAS PIG!

Yep, our new Christmas feature by the fountain in the front yard is a pig on snow skis. It has colored lights and a festive scarf wrapped around its neck. We also got a Christmas chicken, but the pig is the centerpiece of our exterior illuminations.

Jilda saw the pig in the yard at one of the patient cottages where she works and instantly knew she wanted one for our yard. She could not contain her excitement when she told me about it.

The patients had bought their pig at Dollar General, so I made it a quest to find one for our yard.

The first stop we went inside and searched every aisle, but we didn't see one. When I asked a nearby clerk if they had any Christmas pigs, she stopped what she was doing and peered at us over her glasses.

I could almost see the wheels turning in her head, and her first thought was, “Now I’ve heard everything.” I imagine her second thought was, “Are these people drinking? I might want to alert local law enforcement.”

When she realized we were serious, she put down the box of ornaments she was stocking on the shelves. Slowly walking up and down the aisles, she didn’t see a pig either. She said with a half smile on her face, "Looks like we don't have any Christmas pigs.”

We thanked her before heading back to the car and the next store. I didn’t look back to verify, but I’m pretty sure she was shaking her head.

By the time we arrived at the second Dollar General, I had decided to play it for all it was worth. Walking inside, I changed my persona to the lead character in the movie Sling Blade.I grunted, “We want one ‘nim Christmas Pigs.”

Without looking up, the clerk pointed toward the back.“The Christmas decorations are on aisle nine.” The people waiting in line gave us a wide berth.

They didn’t have a Christmas pig either. We tried one other place but never found the pork. I’d almost given up the search, but while browsing the decorations at the local Walmart, I noticed a box with a pig pictured on the side. It was high on the top shelf where workers store things that rarely sell. They only had one, but a few moments later it was in my buggy.Heading for the food section, I could not wait to share the good news with Jilda.

That evening when we flipped on the outside lights, the Christmas pig was the highlight. When we decided to paint our front door purple, our niece Samantha gave us a great compliment.

Looking at the door carefully, she said, “You know people around here are going to think you’re weird.”

When she saw the Christmas pig, she shook her head and smiled as she said, “People will KNOW you’re weird.” I sure hope they do.

Our pig says Merry Christmas.


  1. Merry Christmas Rick... I hope you Jilda have a great one ... your Christmas pig is very cute and fun xox

  2. Good one Rick, a search for the unusual.

  3. That der is a nice pig, um hum.

  4. Big smiles. Quirky is good. Weird is good.
    Happy Christmas.

  5. Now that you got your Christmas pig, you won't be popular anymore. The pig will draw all the attention for miles around.

  6. Ha! A Christmas I've heard of everything...not really but I do love that you found one and have it lit proudly on the lawn! I read you previous posts and I'm sorry you can't eat solid food but glad all is healing as it should. Hopefully you'll be completely well soon. Jilda said you lost 8 pounds so far..I think I found them on my scale after our celebrating weekend. I'm sending them down south ASAP! Your Christmas tree is absolutely stunning by the way!

  7. Everyone should have a Christmas pig. I know I do.

  8. I love the colors of your Christmas animals. Are you planning a whole barnyard?

  9. I wish I had a Christmas pig. I'm jealous!


  10. Anonymous2:06 PM

    Nothing wrong with being weird!!

  11. I really (really) shouldn't read this at work ... unsuccessfully trying to stifle my giggles while presumably studying our contracts/licenses database! Does he/she have a name yet?

  12. You got me, that is the first Christmas pig I ever did see. I am sure you exaggerate, I am sure NOONE thought you were weird. Well, maybe one (or 3). LOL Good one you two for originality. (even if you started with a hint!

  13. Yes I have seen Christmas Pigs in the stores and have thought, what the hell, really what the hell, pigs have nothing to do with Christmas, just saying


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