Wednesday, May 30, 2007

I Just Don't Look Good Naked Anymore

It doesn't pay to be modest at the dermatologists office. The nurse came in first and asked if there were any places with which I was concerned. I told her Iraq was troubling and she rolled her eyes as if to say "OK fella, it's kind of late in the day and I'm tired." I'm guessing that it would have been much more amusing had she had a few margarita's. At any rate she told me to undress and put on a robe and she stepped out of the room. She came back in a few moments later with the doctor and when he asked what I did for a living, she said he's a comedian.
The doctor started at the top of my head and checked me all over and when I say all over, I mean ALL over. Our group The Overalls do a song that kept running through my head the whole time I was being examined. The song was written by Sheb Wooly/Dick Feller and is called "I Don't Look Good Naked Anymore." (Lyrics below)
The good news is I got a clean bill of health. I am happy about that.

Here are the words:
I stepped outta the shower and I gotta good look at myself
Pot belly, bald head, man, I thought I was somebody else
I caught my reflection in the mirror on the back of my bathroom door
I just don't look good naked anymore
 So, I'm goin' upstairs and turn the bedroom mirror to the wall
I hung it there when I was trim and tall
I'd stand there and smile, and strut and flex until my arms got sore
But I just don't look good naked anymore
 Well, I used to go out with the girls
I loved them one and all
Now they don't get very close to me
They're afraid that I might fall
 Well, I went to the Doctor for my annual medical exam
Stood there in the buff, suddenly he said "MAN"
I said "What is it Doc, some fatal disease, I just gotta know the score"
He said "No, you just don't look good naked anymore
 Well, me and my wife had a dance routine
Everybody said it was unique
Now it's only when we're back to back
That we're dancing cheek to cheek
 Well, I went to a nudie beech to have some seaside fun
Stretched out in my birthday suit, soakin' up the sun
Somebody yelled, "Hey, there's an old white whale washed up on theshore
I just don't look good naked anymore
 Yeah, my arches fell, my chest went to hell
And my butt's a-draggin' the floor
An' I just don't look good naked anymore
No, I just don't look good naked anymore


  1. Yes, I, too, am a victim of gravity. My chest has slipped to my waist. It's something that happens when one's hair starts turning gray, as far as I can tell. Would walking on my hands help overcome the problem?

  2. I think it was Sharon Stone that said she'd hang upside down like a bat if it would help. I'd have to sleep like that.


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