Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Festive lights

We have colored lights around the top edges of our screen porch.  Sensors are set to turn them on when the daylight fades into dusk. 

A neighbor once asked why we left our Christmas lights up all year. "Those aren't Christmas lights," I said. "They are festive lights that keep Zombies from slipping into our house at night while we're sleeping and sucking our brains out through our ears with a soda straw." The neighbor took an involuntary step backward and searched my face looking for a sign of mirth. "You think I'm kidding, but I'm as serious as a brain tumor."  I went on to explain that I'd seen it on Facebook so I knew it was true.

OK, I'm lying about that. I made it all up. It came to mind this morning while writing my column for the Sunday paper.  

I went out to the porch this morning at 6 a.m. when Jilda headed out to teach her morning yoga class. As I sat there contemplating topics, I noticed the tiny colored lights. I love those little lights. 

Jilda and I went to a Mexican Restaurant in San Francisco and they had these lights strung on their dining veranda. We fell in love with them.  When we got back home, one of the first things we did was string these festive lights around our screen porch. 

I think they're working because I haven't seen the first Zombie since we strung the festive lights.


  1. Obviously they are doing their job. Good story.

  2. I am glad to hear that your home is zombie free. Sometimes in the very early morning I worry that I have become one.

  3. I hear that wind chimes keep alligators away as well.

  4. Anonymous11:10 PM

    I told my husband years ago, "May this house be safe from tigers" & I think it worked because we've never seen a tiger here. But we check whenever we go out just to be sure!!

  5. I love your festive lights and thank you for the smile today...I don't have lights on my porch but there are no zombies here either !

  6. One cannot (at least should not) dispute FACTS!

  7. I think the wind chime helps keep the zombies away as well. The lights are pretty and I'm sure they keep vampires away.
    Hugs, Julia

  8. They look festive to me! Great Idea and excuse to keep them up. I'm stringing mine tonight!

  9. I would keep on using them. No sense taking any chances.

  10. Some of my neighbors have small lights up on their houses all year round, or they put them up in their backyards. I have a small Christmas tree in my office. I can plug it in whenever I want and enjoy the little blue lights. Good job on keeping the zombies away.


  11. How cute! I didn't put our lights up this year..don't know why but I'll string some for Halloween! Enjoy your lights and that sweet screened in porch!

  12. You know that you are 100% right, if you read it on Facebook it is absolutely true...

    There is nothing wrong with those lights, they look nice and both Jilda and you enjoy them, besides they keep the zombies at bay too.

  13. It's well-known that zombies are afraid of cheerful lighting. Consider yourself well protected.


Please consider sharing

Email Signup Form

Subscribe to our mailing list

* indicates required